5 Aug 2010

The Fearless Leader vs. The Emotionally Intelligent Leader- What Do You Aspire To?

 

Traditionally, the presumption of ‘fearless leader’ has been held in high regard.  Someone who takes risks, who takes charge, and keeps full control and power in the face of adversity.  What had not historically been considered was the impact yielding of such power and control had on the supporting individuals and thus, the dynamic of the entire community.  It is not a surprise this is often used in conjunction with the term ‘dictator’.  In a business situation, do you want a fearless leader, or an emotionally intelligent leader?  Stick with me before you answer that based on traditional presumptions…

How does one become what is known as the traditional concept of “fearless leader”?  One of many concepts studied by Kets de Vries and Miller (1985) in their article on “Narcissism and Leadership,”  is based on a personality trait called “reactive narcissism”.   Such individuals are driven to prove their superiority, power and adequacy.  They lack empathy, resist criticism, and blame others for failures.  Because of their demeanor and actions, this personality is often viewed as the ‘fearless leader’.  However, when considering leadership from the perspective of motivating and inspiring others, and being a solid role model for those in your wake, this individual completely lacks true leadership capabilities.

A title and a box above other boxes on an organizational chart does not make one a leader.  In my career I have encountered a few ‘fearless leaders’.   Take for example the executive who would walk across the office in a rage, copying an entire organization on an email to blame and humiliate others before fully gauging a situation and keeping himself in check.  Imagine the demoralization that can spread from this behavior occurring on a consistent basis.   How might increasing this individual’s level of emotional intelligence improve his leadership skills?  Acknowledge the fear that underlies these actions.  What? A leader having fear!?  Yes, one who is truly a fearless leader is not one without fear, but one who acknowledges the fear, and can push forth with grace and fortitude in spite of it, without throwing others under the bus, and allowing themselves and others to learn and grow from the situation.  Ego must not cloud the situation.

These days people think too much in extremes and are afraid to acknowledge having fear.  Fear is something you have if someone is chasing you with a knife, a car coming at you in the wrong lane, a rabid animal before you with exposed teeth, or a big creepy spider on your wall (just me?).

Fear actually also is- “that customer is pissed, I hope I don’t lose them”, or “I am really nervous about making this sales call, I’m a bit intimidated by this person”, or “I can’t believe I said that in that meeting, I hope they don’t think I’m an idiot”.  Anything that raises concern that you might lose something of comfort or importance to you qualifies as fear.  At the greatest extreme, it could be the loss of life.  But it may also be loss of status, prestige, financial security, reputation, or even simply the ability to have a pleasant conversation.  

Once you can name it, you can effectively deal with it.   It takes humility to do this, and this is a much stronger trait than trying to hide your fear with blame, justification and attacks on others.  Humility and an emotionally intelligent leader build morale, cohesion and a dynamic team in support of one another and a common goal.  Read: Profit and success!

 

9 Mar 2010

How Committed Are You?

I was intrigued on a flight tonight, while reading on the topic of commitment, as I looked to my left and the man next to me was playing Sudoku- in red ink. Now that’s commitment!

Too often we make only a partial commitment to fulfill our desires. It may not be a fully conscious decision, but the partial commitment is why so many goals go unmet and dreams un-chased.

Fully committing requires you to go outside of your comfort zone in new and scary ways. It is so easy to find an excuse not to journey into that uncomfortable space, and then blame that situation for not accomplishing what we set out to do. The world was against me! So-and-so got in my way! This is the result of partial commitment- ending up back where we started.

As humans we are conditioned to stay in that comfortable place, but while you sit there, think about what you are missing out on. A good excuse may feel a lot easier than self-motivation in a new, scary moment, but the result is considerably less rewarding. If you struggle with it yourself, find a friend or a coach to help you light that fire under your ass and propel you into action!

“You elevate your life by taking responsibility for who you are and what you’re choosing to become. You can transcend the ordinary, mundane, and average, with thoughts of greater joy and meaning; you can decide to elevate your life, rather than have it stagnate or deteriorate with excuses. Go beyond where you presently are.” ~Dr. Wayne W. Dyer

Next time you identify a goal, commit to it, write it down in red ink, not pencil, and make it happen, no excuses!

Sue Koch's Space

Sue Koch spent 15 years in consulting and corporate roles building and managing the internal business systems and organizational structures of small technology companies in Chicago. Joining early stage companies gave her exceptional coverage in all aspects of running a business. In pursuit of her entrepreneurial goals, she took what she loved most from her career and created Chicago based Soaring Solutions, LLC; helping business owners expand their strategic and technical horizons to reach new levels of brand awareness, connection and ROI via social media.

Her business experience from start-up to divestiture, technology experience from software development to social marketing, and background in business intelligence, customer service & leadership development culminate to a unique foundation for helping others succeed. Create your strategic plan, replace overwhelm with focus, target your audience for true ROI, and have fun in the process!

She is also a published co-author in the collaborative work "The Coach's Journey Volume 1: True Stories of Transformational Experiences".

http://soaringsolutions.net